As I continued reading, more was said on this topic, so I decided to add more that continued what I was saying in my earlier post, one more time from John Ensor:
"When God sets forth the complementary expression of love - manly sacrifice and womanly submission - he connects it to something so profound and powerful that it must be highlighted as its own directive in doing things right in matters of the heart...Brothers, to love sacrificially is not a sacrifice! Sisters, in submitting you are not giving up something, you are gaining something!
...Christ's sacrifice, as is true with all godly sacrifice, is a sacrifice that brings gain. Sacrifice is a means of increasing and fulfilling our own lives. Sacrificial love always increases personal joy in the long run. It is a self-fulfilling self-sacrifice...The power, or motivation, for sacrificing and submitting comes from seeking your own happiness in the other person's well being, as if your spouse is truly an extension of your own body...
Love is basically seeking your own happiness in the well-being of another. It may be more than that, but it can never be less. Selfishness is seeking your own need separate from the needs of others, or at the expense of others, or apart from God...Seek your happiness in the holy happiness of the other."
Monday, September 10, 2007
What's all this about submission?
Submission - another unfriendly word, almost anywhere you go. But why? Don't people realize that every day we are submitting to somebody, something, somewhere? Unless we are running around doing every single thing our heart desired (yikes!) we are submitting to some authority other than ourselves, whether it be the government (law), our boss / teacher / parents, or God. So why when the Bible talks about women submitting to their husband as to the Lord does everyone have a hissy fit?
Most likely because we do not realize we are submitting to someone or something every day, and we live in ignorant bliss. Either that, or we do realize it and are mad at the world, government, etc. for making us do what we don't want to. But most of the time, we do things, submitting to some higher authority, without even realizing it. What would the world be like if people didn't obey traffic laws and employees told their bosses to take a hike? Chaos, for one, and unhappiness for another - because God created us as people who need direction, and in most cases, people figure out that they are happier submitting their own desires to a higher authority than taking matters into their own hands and suffering the consequences. In this same way, wives can submit to their husbands in happiness, not even realizing it, and reap great rewards from it in the meantime! But it doesn't come naturally, and sometimes we do have to learn the hard way before we give our own desires over to God.
John Ensor's quote below shows us how true submission is not a burden, but in fact a blessing; while selfishness will never lead to happiness:
"Sacrificing and submitting must become the established patterns of our lives, especially in seeking agreement and resolution (remember unity - not winning - is the heart of the matter) when the inevitable conflicts come. Without unity as the goal, battles are won and lost in daily interchanges of "what about what i want?" and "what about my needs?" Whenever these words are spoken, something in the relationship dies...These words kill. Unity has been sacrificed on the altar of self. One has returned to two. It is no longer 'you and me against the world!' It has become 'to each his own.'...
[However...] In a marriage of two equals, the way the husband shows his reverent submission to Christ is in submitting to the burden of leadership. The way the wife shows her reverent submission to Christ is in respecting her husband's obligation to lead and submitting to it in spite of his weakness and inadequacies...Submission is a disposition or attitude of honor and respect for her husband as the leader."
Ladies, when we submit our own desires to our husband, we tell him that we respect his decision and will follow him, even if we don't agree with it. Ultimately, he is responsible before God for making that decision and we are responsible to follow him in it [unless it is against God's law]. A loving husband, on the other side, should also be sacrificing his own desires for the better happiness of his wife, so that he might show her he cares for her before himself. With both husband and wife looking towards the other person first, there is no fear of a domineering husband or a rebellious wife, but a unified relationship seeking happiness in serving each other (which, in fact, is what Christ calls us to do in life).
Most likely because we do not realize we are submitting to someone or something every day, and we live in ignorant bliss. Either that, or we do realize it and are mad at the world, government, etc. for making us do what we don't want to. But most of the time, we do things, submitting to some higher authority, without even realizing it. What would the world be like if people didn't obey traffic laws and employees told their bosses to take a hike? Chaos, for one, and unhappiness for another - because God created us as people who need direction, and in most cases, people figure out that they are happier submitting their own desires to a higher authority than taking matters into their own hands and suffering the consequences. In this same way, wives can submit to their husbands in happiness, not even realizing it, and reap great rewards from it in the meantime! But it doesn't come naturally, and sometimes we do have to learn the hard way before we give our own desires over to God.
John Ensor's quote below shows us how true submission is not a burden, but in fact a blessing; while selfishness will never lead to happiness:
"Sacrificing and submitting must become the established patterns of our lives, especially in seeking agreement and resolution (remember unity - not winning - is the heart of the matter) when the inevitable conflicts come. Without unity as the goal, battles are won and lost in daily interchanges of "what about what i want?" and "what about my needs?" Whenever these words are spoken, something in the relationship dies...These words kill. Unity has been sacrificed on the altar of self. One has returned to two. It is no longer 'you and me against the world!' It has become 'to each his own.'...
[However...] In a marriage of two equals, the way the husband shows his reverent submission to Christ is in submitting to the burden of leadership. The way the wife shows her reverent submission to Christ is in respecting her husband's obligation to lead and submitting to it in spite of his weakness and inadequacies...Submission is a disposition or attitude of honor and respect for her husband as the leader."
Ladies, when we submit our own desires to our husband, we tell him that we respect his decision and will follow him, even if we don't agree with it. Ultimately, he is responsible before God for making that decision and we are responsible to follow him in it [unless it is against God's law]. A loving husband, on the other side, should also be sacrificing his own desires for the better happiness of his wife, so that he might show her he cares for her before himself. With both husband and wife looking towards the other person first, there is no fear of a domineering husband or a rebellious wife, but a unified relationship seeking happiness in serving each other (which, in fact, is what Christ calls us to do in life).
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Thoughts on Chastity
What a word. These days, it seems like a bad word - Who wants to be described as "chaste"? Pure, yes, but chaste? They mean pretty much the same thing when it comes to sexual abstinence, but they seem to have different connotations. To me, something that is pure is undefiled and untouched by others, a state of being; but being chaste seems to require action on the part of the person described, to prevent himself from becoming defiled. With these definitions in mind, take a look at what John Ensor has to say about chastity and purity with respect to men and women in his recent book, "Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart".
"Men protect women by their chastity. Women, by their chastity, test the maturity and character of the man pursuing them...
Brothers, our power to abstain from sexual impurity and to practice sexual self-control with those with whom we fall in love comes from two sources. One is the love of God accompanied by a childlike desire to please him. The other is love for others, accompanied by the desire to protect, that such love prompts within us. Brothers, practice sexual self-control out of a desire to protect her from sin, guilt, shame, embarrassment, pregnancy, and the fallout that all women bear so disproportionaltely from sex outside of marriage.
Sisters, abstaining from sexual immorality is, for you, to, a matter of submitting to God and his commands. But it is more, It is God's 'Mature Manhood Test Kit' for women. The immature, self-centered ungodly man will test negative in a matter of weeks. The deceitful and cutnning predator will test negative in a matter of days. Men willing to wait, and wanting to wait, will test positive. It is not a lack of sexual interest; it is a healthy fear of God. It is love, which at this point rightfully expresses itself as protection from sin and shame. If he weakens, help him succeed. If all else goes well in the development of the relationship, you know you are marrying a godly man, on who has self-control and a clear sense of his calling as a man."
Amazing, isn't it? Doing the things that the world tells us are so old-fashioned and timid actually work out for our best interest in the long run! While the world tells girls to dress provacatively, speak your mind, and let that boy know you're interested, God tells us to be modest, wait on Him, and allow the man to lead the relationship. If you've found a godly man, he will respect your modesty and cherish it more than any other half-dressed body on the street. If you've found a godly man, he will ask for your opinion and take your feelings into consideration. If you've found a godly man, he'll let you know that he's serious about pursuing a relationship. But if you take the first step, if you give into the temptation to wait, you'll never know how godly that man might be.
"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age."
Titus 2:11-12
"Men protect women by their chastity. Women, by their chastity, test the maturity and character of the man pursuing them...
Brothers, our power to abstain from sexual impurity and to practice sexual self-control with those with whom we fall in love comes from two sources. One is the love of God accompanied by a childlike desire to please him. The other is love for others, accompanied by the desire to protect, that such love prompts within us. Brothers, practice sexual self-control out of a desire to protect her from sin, guilt, shame, embarrassment, pregnancy, and the fallout that all women bear so disproportionaltely from sex outside of marriage.
Sisters, abstaining from sexual immorality is, for you, to, a matter of submitting to God and his commands. But it is more, It is God's 'Mature Manhood Test Kit' for women. The immature, self-centered ungodly man will test negative in a matter of weeks. The deceitful and cutnning predator will test negative in a matter of days. Men willing to wait, and wanting to wait, will test positive. It is not a lack of sexual interest; it is a healthy fear of God. It is love, which at this point rightfully expresses itself as protection from sin and shame. If he weakens, help him succeed. If all else goes well in the development of the relationship, you know you are marrying a godly man, on who has self-control and a clear sense of his calling as a man."
Amazing, isn't it? Doing the things that the world tells us are so old-fashioned and timid actually work out for our best interest in the long run! While the world tells girls to dress provacatively, speak your mind, and let that boy know you're interested, God tells us to be modest, wait on Him, and allow the man to lead the relationship. If you've found a godly man, he will respect your modesty and cherish it more than any other half-dressed body on the street. If you've found a godly man, he will ask for your opinion and take your feelings into consideration. If you've found a godly man, he'll let you know that he's serious about pursuing a relationship. But if you take the first step, if you give into the temptation to wait, you'll never know how godly that man might be.
"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age."
Titus 2:11-12
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